August 19, 1984

The Head Administrator received a call at her desk while she fixed some last-minute report reviews.

"Hello?" she said into the receiver.

"Never, ever, EVER make me do that again. I don't care if you're the Head Administrator or my sister-in-law." came the voice from the other side of the phone line.

"Ah, Lynnette. You've broken the boy already?"

"It's not a one-day deal."

"Will he look upon my daughter as his girlfriend?" the Head Administrator asked.

"At this point I don't think he'll look at anyone as a friend, much less a girlfriend," Lynnette said. "But I have to finish things up with him to make him at least functional once I'm done with him. There's still work to be done. I can't leave him unfinished."

"Why not?"

"He'll lose all usefulness to the village."

"He's useless as it is, being the son of John Culler. Culler almost turned the boy into a time bomb as it was."

"You know, he never admitted to being John's son, no matter what I did to him," Lynnette said.

"I hope you got at least a little revenge for yourself and for me and for the other women whose lives he's ruined in this town."

"No. I broke a boy's will because you didn't want him to even so much as look at your daughter after you caught them kissing. I'm not taking anything out on Nemo for what his father did."

"Then you're not living up to your end of the contract as far as I'm concerned," the Head Administrator said. She heard a doorbell in the background.

"There he is. I'm going to go now. Mark my words, I will never do this again, I don't care how much money you put in front of me," Lynnette said.

"Just complete this contract to my satisfaction," the Head Administrator said. "Goodbye for now, Lynnette. Shall I see you at lunch on Wednesday?"

Lynnette made a sound of disgust as she hung up the phone.

As long as someone paid for Culler's misdeeds, the Head Administrator considered justice to be served.

_________________
DocSaluki - @jchinds

Yes, I'm the madman behind the 575 pounds of awesome that is Hephaestus 1. (He's not gone, as long as you keep him in your heart!) I'm not responsible for your nightmares or broken minds, though.

So long, Providence, Hello, Detroit.

_________________
Life is always an ordered form of chaos




Global:@Blitz Reaper

August 22, 1984

John Culler woke up next to one of his interns in his sunny Malibu mansion as soon as the sun hit his eyes. Considering that his master bedroom faced the ocean, it took a while. He checked to make sure the girl was still breathing; nothing ruins a politician's career faster than being caught with a dead girl or a live boy. Once he was satisfied that last night's partying wasn't permanently damaging to his reputation, he put on his bathrobe and walked out onto the balcony and turned on the coffeemaker beneath his outdoor bar. It started to bubble and gurgle like normal. The congressman walked to the railing and felt around for any messages from the Village Hidden in Bureaucracy from the usual courier. He found the message panel and popped it open, a cardboard mailing tube popping into his hands.

John's jaw quivered when he read the letter and saw the pictures. He wasn't sure whether to cry or throw up. His son went through the most unspeakable things, and as a Lightning Caller he'd have to endure the outrage in public by laughing it off or dismissing his son as "weak." The letter boiled down to one simple message: his son suffered for John's misdeeds, seductions and general obnoxiousness. Lightning Callers were supposed to be that way, but any outrage he generated was supposed to fall on the Caller himself. That was a very important rule for the one group of ninja who didn't follow rules very well. He'd caused his son pain and suffering because of actions from almost two decades earlier.

The letter ended like so: "Your son was clearly imitating your own actions which I'm sure you described in great detail, and with my daughter no less. As you can see, we're stopping that from happening ever again. Thought you might like to know. Other than that, it's the same thing day after day here in good old Springfield! I hope your day has been a happy one, John. See you at the next reunion!"

John Culler was the worst at following rules, and right now he'd have to follow every single rule for Lightning Callers as much as he wanted to kill the Head Administrator. He returned the letter and photos to the cardboard tube and resealed it. Then he walked to his outdoor bar, poured a quarter cup of coffee and three-quarters of a cup of bourbon. The booze would help him endure for now.

_________________
DocSaluki - @jchinds

Yes, I'm the madman behind the 575 pounds of awesome that is Hephaestus 1. (He's not gone, as long as you keep him in your heart!) I'm not responsible for your nightmares or broken minds, though.

So long, Providence, Hello, Detroit.

August 30, 1984

One of the great things about being a Congressman in the 1980s was to be able to justify a plane trip anywhere using the Air Force's "Space Available" flight system. Need a trip from March AFB in southern California to Offutt AFB in eastern Nebraska? If you have a seat on the House Defense Subcommittee, you can finagle your way into a flight. John Culler abused this quite a bit, but thanks to pilots needing training time it wasn't like someone was making an extra trip for him. A flight and a car rental was all that was needed to get a Congressman back to his hometown for a visit.

John Culler's visit was pure business, family business in fact.

He stopped in first at the residence of one Linda Cuthbert, Nemo's mother. It was a quick fight, as always, but John managed to say his piece.

"Linda, I don't know how you managed to raise that boy so improperly, but if you can't provide him enough TLC, maybe he'll wind up sneaking into the Village Hidden in a Strip Club. Yeah, you know, where he's not supposed to go," he said in his argument. As always he said it just loud enough for the gossips to catch the entire conversation. "Raise your boy right. You owe Bobby Iasan that much," he said, his heart breaking with every word. Linda was the woman he loved, but rules were rules.

"I can't control him all the time!" Linda shot back at John. "Do you expect me to hang on him like a shadow?"

"If you did, he wouldn't be this close to being out-of-control! Do you know where he is right now?" John asked.

"No," she said.

"Might want to call the club. You know. Just in case. Imagine it, Linda. Instead of turning into a good man who follows the rules of his school and works within them like his father, he turns into me. I know you don't want that, unless you get some kind of thrill seeing all the girls his age... well, we'll say "deflowered" to be delicate... all by one boy? I suppose you're cool with that? I have no beef with it, but maybe you don't want your son turning all the girls out."

"I don't know why I didn't kill you in your sleep back in Port Huron, John. Get the hell out of my house!" Linda shouted as she threw a glass at her former lover.

"Whatever you say, Linda. You had your chance with me, but you failed. You're failing with Nemo, too, and he's already slipping from out of your grasp. Later days," John said, beating a hasty retreat.

The next trip was to the Village Hidden in a Strip Club during their off-hours. Lynnette was there along with her bartender. John knew that the bartender had been hired as a monitor for Lynnette. In case she missed something, he'd pick up the rest. He also ensured the Head Administrator got a full report. Lynnette had a problem with forgetting some information in her reports. It was why she rarely left on missions and spent more time training other dancers. As John walked into the club, Lynnette tried passing by John without saying anything. She found his kubikiri blade at her neck. The hinge in its blade jostled her carotid artery.

"I want you to stop and tell me everything, Lynnette. How much you got paid, how much blackmail you had on you to rape my son like that. I want to know who has that hold over you. I want to know why you did it."

"He's your son?" Lynnette croaked. "Oh, God, John. It's true?"

"Don't fuck with me, woman. You know that. You took a weak little boy like Nemo and turned him into an even worse time bomb than my fuck up with Lightning Calling will ever do," John growled.

"I- I'm trying to make up for it. I broke him. Let me fix him, John."

"That boy is a psychopath now. It's all your fault, Lynnette. Freud, Jung, Maslow and Skinner couldn't unfuck his brain. How the fuck do you think you'll do it? I bet you won't even try after this." He watched the bartender out of the corner of his eye. The old man's hands reached slowly for the phone. "He's already in the phase where he goes off by himself, I bet. Trust me, I know how abuse works. Now he's either trying to figure out how to kill himself or he's planning how to kill everyone who's ever pissed him off."

"No, he's not! I have him every day at my home! I'll fix him, John! I can do that!" Lynnette sobbed. "The Head Administrator ordered me to do this. It was just one kiss for my niece, John. I had orders, because he's a security threat!"

"Security threat? Nemo Iasan's a security threat? Why, because he's got the Head Administrator's daughter in love with him? Wait until he gets her pregnant... or is that the real reason why?"

Heads turned as the other girls at the club stopped practicing their routines. What they just heard was sure to be repeated. The bartender shot the girls a look and picked up the phone. John smiled. Lynnette said nothing.

"I think I'll pay a little visit to your sister-in-law, Lynnette. She ordered this, after all. I can see why she used you. You're living up to the stereotype of a whore, Lynnette. Congratulations." He leaned in closer to Lynnette's bangle-encrusted ear so only she could hear him. "I hope you enjoyed getting photos taken doing things like that to an eleven-year-old boy. Taking a boy like that who had no idea what the hell was going on. He was a good enough lay, right? You get off from it? But hey, you're a big girl, aren't you?"

Lynnette sobbed. "I'll... fix... I'll fix him. Promise."

"It'll take a fucking miracle, Lynnette. I'd say you know enough about fucking him to be halfway to a miracle, wouldn't you?" John hissed into her ear. He pulled back. "Goodbye, Lynnette. You turned a total bastard of a child into a walking fucking timebomb. When he blows up, and he will, just remember that it's on you."

John Culler left the strip club fuming with each step. His real target was the woman who ordered the whole outrage. His final stop was to make sure there was no chance of anyone else ever bringing any unearned trouble down on Nemo. A cold stare at the Head Administrator's assistant, Virgil Dennison, ensured that a private meeting would be overheard by at least twenty sets of ears.

The Head Administrator sat back in her chair, allowing John to roam in front of her desk. Her normally-impassive face was set in its finest expressionless marble.

"Your report, Culler?" she asked plain-as-day.

"Head Administrator, you have a time bomb named Nemo Iasan on your hands, and it's your machinations that did it. I'm glad you sent the pictures. When the bodies pile up, there's a whole stack of evidence that leads to you and your sister."

"Pictures, Culler. Really," the Head Administrator said.

"Your hand-written note, complete with your writing quirks, was attached to it. Goodness, did you think I'd forget it? All that over a kiss."

"The Iasan boy is a threat to my daughter. I will not have my daughter used as a pawn against me in your little crusade against all the terror groups you like to label as a new breed of pirates. You were using him to do that, John. Don't lie to me. You thought I couldn't see through your power play? My daughter is not to be used as leverage! If we hunted every two-bit terror group who got Soviet funding because you wanted to call skyjackers 'air pirates' we'd have no one in this town for real emergencies!" the Head Administrator said with the first bit of emotion crossing her face.

John ran his hand through his long hair. "That boy was useless as a weapon. Now he's even more useless as a functioning member of society. I'm glad you also think so little of the threats I'm bringing up that you let well-funded pirates build their bases under your nose. As for Nemo, he'll be lucky to be a sexless drone by the time he graduates high school. He's a no good loner now. He'll be afraid of girls. You know what happens when you fuck with someone's sex drive, Head Administrator? You set them on the path to being a serial killer. Good job! That kid's gonna be a hit at parties!"

Line after line, lie after lie, all John wanted to do was hunt down his son and break all his school's rules. Tell him he'd be okay that he was still loved, that he didn't do anything wrong, help him heal. Duty kept him from doing that. He had rules to follow, but he could work those rules to get his message across.

"I love every single child in this town like they were my own, Head Administrator. You've ruined one of them, and now he's going to ruin others unless parents keep him away. What kind of woman would you let raise a potential monster like that? Because he's right in the zone of being in trouble, with no one to help him. You let the weakest-willed, most unloved and most ineffectual boy in the village turn into a goddamned serial killer. I bet every parent is gonna have to keep an eye out on their kids when Nemo Iasan is around due to your meddling. First it's your daughter. Then who? Who's going to be next? Who's going to be his next victim? After all, you must have caught them in the middle of something you'd only see on those unmarked VHS tapes in the back of the closet to order a boy to be assaulted like that."

"You'd know about assaulting girls, wouldn't you, John Culler?" the Head Administrator spat.

"Still jealous over that night I picked Linda over you, huh? I remember your first boyfriend. He never knew you weren't a virgin when you fucked him, did he? Oops."

"You seduced me, John."

"You can't seduce the willing, Head Administrator. Lots of girls were willing. You know how able I was. Still am, if you want to have a little fun on the side," John leered.

"Get out, Culler."

"Fine. You'll get your next report within the month. Right now, you have a kid who's gonna destroy this village and no one can stop him. You sure as hell can't prevent him from being near the others, can you?"

John left, sliding his aviator sunglasses back on before he got into the car. It was a quick drive to the hotel parking lot. He parked the car and sat in the driver's seat. The older ninja covered his nose with a handkerchief and pretended to clear out his cocaine-eaten nostrils. For once, John Culler finally let his emotions get the best of him.

_________________
DocSaluki - @jchinds

Yes, I'm the madman behind the 575 pounds of awesome that is Hephaestus 1. (He's not gone, as long as you keep him in your heart!) I'm not responsible for your nightmares or broken minds, though.

So long, Providence, Hello, Detroit.

(( Well. That was rather...clarifying. ))

_________________
"Do your best and let the rest work itself out."
Doctor Void - Dr. Wretched - Impact Tower - Jackie Bones - MerryGoRound - Bella Facade - Dark Anima - Choose - many others.

Yep. The School of Lightning Callers is a nasty and lonely school of training. Sure you get to live a rockstar's life, network among the A-List and B-List celebrities and politicians, and generally get to abuse any authority given to you without repercussions. You also turn yourself into a human lightning rod, and the chance that you'll wind up killing people around you with your lightning strikes is extremely high. As such, the school requires you to push non-lightning callers in your life away for their safety. The big problem is that loved ones tend to want to help you with this problem and it often just gets them killed or crippled. As such, a lightning caller is required to push away those he loves by every means possible, necessary or otherwise. Verbal abuse and general unpleasantness is the basic method of getting people to avoid you. Alcohol, drugs, and using people for sex in a sociopathic manner are the main coping mechanisms available to them for dealing with their isolation. Music and media performance are the traditional (and ideal) outlets for them, as it was music that allowed them to bring lightning down on their villages' enemies in the past.

It tends to be a very messed-up life that chooses you; very few have ever volunteered for the job and lasted for more than a few years before dying.

The people who go into Administrative Infiltration School often go to that school because it's the default. If you can keep a low profile you can slack off quite a bit and still be a good source of information for your village. AI types tend to have a wider array of knowledge because they have to be able to blend into any kind of bureaucracy without raising alarms. You see mostly accountants and economists in this school, though a surprising minority are in the janitorial and food service industries.

The School of Tradesmen used to be the most common school, but modern automation has weakened it compared to AI. Despite the weakening they're armed with great technical knowledge and are the ones found in both blue-collar trades and engineering firms.

There are a few other schools out there, each with their own ways of teaching ninja warfare.

The conflict between the Head Administrator and John Culler goes back to middle school, and reached its impasse with constant reports of increased acts of piracy. (And yes, much of this leads back to the very thing that started the entire Kanryudo thread.)

_________________
DocSaluki - @jchinds

Yes, I'm the madman behind the 575 pounds of awesome that is Hephaestus 1. (He's not gone, as long as you keep him in your heart!) I'm not responsible for your nightmares or broken minds, though.

So long, Providence, Hello, Detroit.

(( Yeah, you hinted at that right along, I think. Makes me worry about Grace. ))

_________________
"Do your best and let the rest work itself out."
Doctor Void - Dr. Wretched - Impact Tower - Jackie Bones - MerryGoRound - Bella Facade - Dark Anima - Choose - many others.

Exactly. You can be a musician without being a lightning caller, but if the job chooses you, well... in the words of Edie McClurg from "Planes, Trains, and Automobiles": "You're fucked!"

_________________
DocSaluki - @jchinds

Yes, I'm the madman behind the 575 pounds of awesome that is Hephaestus 1. (He's not gone, as long as you keep him in your heart!) I'm not responsible for your nightmares or broken minds, though.

So long, Providence, Hello, Detroit.

Setpember 5, 1984

"Sorry, Nemo, I can't play with you anymore," the boy said.

"Why not, Joey?" Nemo asked.

"Mom and Dad said I can't. You have to wear that grounding strap all the time-" the boy started.

"No I don't! Only when I'm exercising hard! Not playing baseball!" Nemo interrupted.

"Mom and Dad don't want me to be around you in case you bring lightning down by accident. So, uh, bye, Nemo." Joey closed the door in front of his former friend and watched Nemo walk away from the house.

"Was that okay, Mom?" the boy asked his mother as she sat reading a book on the living room couch.

"Just fine, Joey," the boy's mother said as she put her book down. "He's a dangerous boy anyway, what with trying to kidnap the Head Administrator's daughter and all the fighting and going around that nasty strip club. It's best to stay away from him. He goes on so many dangerous missions, you never know when he's just going to snap and kill everyone! I can't believe his mother lets him do that."

After all, if you can't believe what your neighbor's co-worker heard about the boy named Nemo Iasan, what can you believe?

_________________
DocSaluki - @jchinds

Yes, I'm the madman behind the 575 pounds of awesome that is Hephaestus 1. (He's not gone, as long as you keep him in your heart!) I'm not responsible for your nightmares or broken minds, though.

So long, Providence, Hello, Detroit.

((back to the present day for a bit))

Claire Pachowski hated schoolwork, especially in the accelerated classes she took. There was no time to lay out and work on a tan, no time to go into Omaha, and less time to scout out the boys at the colleges. And now she had a stupid history report to research. She should be thankful it was only a local history report, so she could try to interview people in the village. Claire's meandering took her to the Riverwatch Diner, a little place by the tributary of the Platte that ran next to the Village Hidden in Bureaucracy. It wasn't empty of customers but Claire had little trouble getting a booth by herself.

"Coffee, hon?" the waitress asked. "With all those books, shouldn't you be in school right now?"

"Yeah, I should, but I'm one of those problem kids picked up by the Head Administrator. I'm in the Accelerated Alternative Class system. And sure, coffee would be nice. Whole milk, no sugar."

"Sure thing," the waitress said. "Local history?" she asked as she scanned the books.

"Since I'm not from here I have to take this as an extra class in order to graduate on time," Claire said. The waitress nodded and left to get Claire her coffee.

A history report on local incidents was bad enough, but most of the topics had been taken or overused. She didn't feel like doing anything on the Hidden War against Fancy Lad Charlie Irons' Grand Fleet, but it was the only topic not overdone. Claire read through some of the declassified monographs and took notes. The waitress returned shortly with Claire's coffee.

"Here you go, hon," the older woman said. "So what are you researching?"

"The final assault on the Grand Fleet's safe harbor is what I'm studying right now."

"I was in that last assault," the waitress said. "It's how I got this scar and eyepatch."

Claire turned red. "I wasn't gonna ask."

"Well, it was bad, lemme tell you. If you want to know more than what's in the declassified monograph I can tell you what I put in my report. That's just an overview," the waitress said.

"Do you ever regret being in that assault, ma'am?" Claire asked.

"Nope. I do regret being in some of the stuff that led up to the assault, though. Call me Lynnette, not 'ma'am'. It makes me feel older than I am!" the waitress said with a laugh. "Guess I should start at the beginning, when I was closer to your age..."

_________________
DocSaluki - @jchinds

Yes, I'm the madman behind the 575 pounds of awesome that is Hephaestus 1. (He's not gone, as long as you keep him in your heart!) I'm not responsible for your nightmares or broken minds, though.

So long, Providence, Hello, Detroit.

(( *blinks* *Double checks names.* Ohhhh This is going to be interesting. ))

_________________
Beware! Stuff happens!

@Milieta
@Milieta Cross
Because it's like doublemint gum!
(Quote) Team: *Burning and dying* D: OH GOD, THE ARCHON IS A WARWOLF AND THE MARKSMEN ARE LEGION. ABANDON HOPE.

((Like John, Lynnette is past 60 years of age. I'll put it mildly: some really crazy shit happened between 1984 and 2012 to her.))

_________________
DocSaluki - @jchinds

Yes, I'm the madman behind the 575 pounds of awesome that is Hephaestus 1. (He's not gone, as long as you keep him in your heart!) I'm not responsible for your nightmares or broken minds, though.

So long, Providence, Hello, Detroit.

September 4, 1984

Nemo sat at his desk as normal as the new school year began. His teammates Linda and Hana sat close to him, but not too close. Other students came up to the two girls and whispered to them, looking at Nemo every so often. Occasionally a kind gesture of a hand on the shoulder would make itself known. Then came a smile and smirk or dirty glare directed towards Nemo. The ninja apprentice ignored it as best as he could.

Math wasn't the best time to sleep, even if the problems were easy.

"Iasan!" Nemo's math teacher shouted, causing the boy to startle a bit and wake up. "Did I, like, interrupt your little nap?"

"A bit, Thurman-sensei," Nemo slurred through a yawn.

"So, like, what's keeping you up at night, man?" Thurman-sensei said.

Nemo's face deadened. "That's classified, Thurman-sensei."

The kids giggled nervously around Nemo.

"Seriously, man, why were you asleep in my class? It's, like, you're trying to show disrespect to me," Thurman-sensei said.

Nemo opened up his book bag. "I told you," he said as he handed a sealed scroll to his math teacher, "it's classified."

Thurman-sensei looked at the black scroll in front of him. It was tied in gold cord and sealed in black wax with the Head Administrator's chop. He could open it up, but to do so would be a security breach. He'd be in more trouble than Nemo for breaking the seal.

Nemo smiled.

"Class, I'll take our sleepyhead here to the principal's office. Until then, like, study, okay?" the teacher said as he grabbed Nemo by his collar. "You and I are going to have a little talk with the principal."

A short trip down a flight of steps and a hallway led to the principal's office. Thurman-sensei and Nemo waited outside the door as the secretary informed the principal of their presence. After a few minutes, she invited the two into the principal's office. The principal was a bull-necked muscular man in his 40s. He focused his eyes on the boy.

"It's only the third week in and you're already here, Iasan? What brings you to my office now?" the principal asked.

"That's classified," Nemo sniffed.

What might work on a math teacher doesn't always work on a principal. Nemo understood this immediately as the principal grabbed him by the collar and pulled him into the desk rapidly.

"Do not show disrespect to me, boy," the principal said with a violent gleam off of his bald forehead. "You're a hundred years too early for something like that."

"I'm not, principal," Nemo said as he handed over the scroll. "It really is classified."

The principal's gaze changed a little as he noticed the seal and cords. "We'll just see about that." He warmed up the wax with his body heat and the seal lifted away from the scroll. He read through it, becoming more confused with every passing word. "This is impossible! This has to be a fake. Thurman, what do you make of this?"

"I'll get in trouble if I look at it, sir," Thurman-sensei said. "My clearance isn't gold-black level."

"Right. Well, the chops and signatures look legitimate. I want to know, Mr. Iasan, how you managed to get the Head Administrator of this village and all of the school board to go along with this."

"I followed the rules, principal. I got their legitimate signatures, or would you prefer to ask them directly? You know that might make them look bad. And what's the Head Administrator's rule to career progress in this town? Don't make her look bad," Nemo said. "Everything is in accordance with state law and local education ordinances. It's signed. Do you really want to risk your job?"

"Oh, man, I wouldn't want to bring the Head Administrator down on me," Thurman-sensei said.

The principal's mustache twitched. "You got this without a fight?"

"Yes, principal. I achieved victory through silence."

"You're a regular paperwork ninja, aren't you, Iasan?" the large man grumbled.

"If you say so, principal," Nemo said. "May I start my self-directed studies now? The entire plan through high school is laid out in the scroll."

"Very well. But when I find out it's a fake, you're a dead man, Iasan."

Nemo nodded. "Take a number, principal. I'm already on three A-plus class mission waiting lists. Those assignments get first crack at killing me."

"Get out of here and start studying. Thurman, go back to your classroom. Our little paperwork ninja here has found a legal way out of class attendance."

Nemo remained as impassive as he could. There wasn't any time to smile. He had books to read.

_________________
DocSaluki - @jchinds

Yes, I'm the madman behind the 575 pounds of awesome that is Hephaestus 1. (He's not gone, as long as you keep him in your heart!) I'm not responsible for your nightmares or broken minds, though.

So long, Providence, Hello, Detroit.

(( Ahhhh. Now see, I always thought he just got the name because he's a ninja from the Village Hidden in Bureaucracy. ))

_________________
"Do your best and let the rest work itself out."
Doctor Void - Dr. Wretched - Impact Tower - Jackie Bones - MerryGoRound - Bella Facade - Dark Anima - Choose - many others.

He became the ideal pretty quickly. There are many paperwork ninjas, but only one Paperwork Ninja.

_________________
DocSaluki - @jchinds

Yes, I'm the madman behind the 575 pounds of awesome that is Hephaestus 1. (He's not gone, as long as you keep him in your heart!) I'm not responsible for your nightmares or broken minds, though.

So long, Providence, Hello, Detroit.