Hephaestus 1 is seated in a dark corner booth of a dive bar somewhere in a wretched hive of scum and villainy.

Greedo: "Koona t'chuta, Solo?"

Heph: "I'm... sorry, I'm not from around here."

Greedo: "Soong peetch alay. Mala trom pee chock makacheesa. Jabba wah ning chee kosthpa murishani tytung we wanya yoskhah. Ha, ha, ha. Chas kee nyowyee koo chooskoo."

Heph: "What? Uhm, I'm sorry but I don't speak your-"

Greedo: "Keh lee chalya chulkah in ting cooing koosooah."

Heph: (seeming a bit irritated, speaks loudly and slowly) "I-DO-NOT-UNDERSTAND-YOUR-CRAZY-MOON-TALKING-LANGUAGE. PLEASE-ASK-SOMEONE-ELSE."

Greedo: "Jabba hari tish ding. Song kul rul yay pul-yaya ulwan spastika kushunkoo oponowa tweepi."

Heph: "Tweepi? The little robot guy from Buck Rogers? He's all 'Bidibidibidi what's up, Buck?' I love that little dude!"

Greedo: "Klop Jabba poo pah. Goo paknee ata pankpa."

Heph: "You're hitting on me, aren't you?"

Greedo: "Uth laynuma. Chespo kutata kreesta krenko, nyakoska!"

(Heph's head-mounted lasers fire, and Greedo falls forward on the table.)

Heph: "No means no, pal! Got it?"

_________________
DocSaluki - @jchinds

Yes, I'm the madman behind the 575 pounds of awesome that is Hephaestus 1. (He's not gone, as long as you keep him in your heart!) I'm not responsible for your nightmares or broken minds, though.

So long, Providence, Hello, Detroit.

*A familiar Sith Lord is seated with a group of Imperial officers, engaged in an argument. Heph sits further away by himself in a nice cardigan sweater, khakis, and a pair of reading glasses somehow attached to his face, and holding a pipe.*

Darth Vader: "The power to destroy a planet is insignificant next to the potential of the Force."

Admiral Motti: "Don't try to frighten us with your sorcerous ways, Lord Vader! Your sad devotion to that ancient Jedi religion has not helped you conjure up the stolen data tapes, or given you enough clairvoyance to find the rebels' hidden fortress... "

*Darth Vader begins telekinetically choking the living shinola out of Admiral Motti*

Darth Vader: "I find your lack of faith disturbing."

Grand Moff Tarkin: "Enough of this! Vader, release him!"

Darth Vader: "As you wish."

*the lights dim, except for a spotlight on Heph who takes a grandfatherly draw from his pipe, sighs wistfully and looks into the camera*

Heph: "That day, Tarkin was amazed to discover that when Darth Vader was saying "As you wish", what he meant was, "I love you." And even more amazing was the day Tarkin realized he truly loved Vader back."

*Heph then runs for the nearest escape pod*

_________________
DocSaluki - @jchinds

Yes, I'm the madman behind the 575 pounds of awesome that is Hephaestus 1. (He's not gone, as long as you keep him in your heart!) I'm not responsible for your nightmares or broken minds, though.

So long, Providence, Hello, Detroit.