Because this can only go wrong in hilarious ways...

Post here or email me in-game with the breakup letter you've always wanted to send! Be as angry and hurt as you like (but keep an eye on the swearing)! Breakup with your ex, your family, your cable company! I promise a "dramatic reading" during OUTRAGE this evening, from 8pm - 10pm Eastern.

How bad could it be?

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"Plans are nothing; planning is everything."
President Dwight D. Eisenhower

Dear cold assed b*tch,

After your latest run in with the procelain throne, and the removal of the contents of what I'm guessing you had at the bar where I saw you kissing two other men, I must now in good conscience, slap you with a lawsuit for damages to personal property. That was MY car you totalled, and I expect to be fully reimbursed for bailing you out of jail you fat, snarky, no account, loser. I'm leaving you, because without you my life will be paradise.

P.S. Your work called, you've been fired.
P.S.S. Your father called from the asylumn, your crazy mom died
P.S.S. You might want to hang up the phone, I called japan and left the phone off the hook.
P.S.P.S Your doctor called and said you should call her immediately
P.S.S.P.S. The dog had puppies
P.s.s.p.s.s. You have twenty four hours before the electricity is turned off.
P.s.P.s.P.s. If you want to reach me I'm staying at your best friends house.
P.s^5 If you try to reach me at your best friends house I will get a restraining order.

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The only real difference between a hero and someone normal like me is, I have hope, they make hope reality.

Dear psycho conspiracy theorist nutjob,

I sat in the bar quietly as you ranted about how 9-11 was an inside job by the American government.
I questioned by decision-making processes when, sitting at the bar at my going-away party, you dropped the N-word in a conversation...and you're polish.
I hit my head against the table when you mentioned.how....people of a certain ethnicity...stole from the store.
I thanked god it was my going-away party, and I wouldn't have to interact with you at work again,.
I am so very grateful I stopped returning your calls, because when I last met you...you were ranting about how AIDS was the gay cancer. in my just-out-off-the-closet friend's presence.

What the fuck was I thinking? Oh, that's right, I wasn't. The whisky was.

You were cute, but honey...not cute enough to justify THAT level of crazy. We're talking, like...the offspring of Cthulhu and the Joker nutso.


Seriously...seek help.

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'You can call me many mean and nasty things, most of them true. 'Macho shithead' is one of those things...'- Henry Rollins

Dear Tommy (Back Yard Boom),

Look... I know you're busy with your business restoring and customizing cars, but you have blown me off too many times to go watch gorram hockey games with Heph! Is a 7 foot cyborg more frakking important than us? Seriously, if this is going to be the way it is, then just FRAK OFF!!!

- Emmy (Agent Munin)

PS: My cat Hugin is more of a man than you... at least he's there for me.

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DJ Pheonyx of The Cape Radio
Global Name: @Pheonyx