INSTRUCTIONS: Read each question carefully and answer. Time limit is fifteen minutes.


I. HISTORY -- Describe the history of the Roman Catholic papacy from its origins to the present day and discuss its social, political, economic, religious, and philosophical impact on the fast-food chains of today. Be brief.

II. PHILOSOPHY -- Cease to exist. Report your findings. Consider the ramifications of the question "Where's the beef?" on our modern world.

III. MUSIC -- Write a piano concerto. Orchestrate and perform it with an electric bass and pan pipes. You will find a piano here.

IV. GEOGRAPHY -- Keeping in mind the theory of plate tectonics, locate Sweden on this map:






V. BIOLOGY -- Create life. Estimate the differences in today's world if this life form had been created 500 million years ago and evolved accordingly, giving special attention to its probable effects on the English parliamentary system. Prove your thesis.

VI. MEDICINE -- Develop a cure for the common cold. Discuss its implications on the world of auto racing.

VII. PSYCHOLOGY -- Based on your knowledge of their works, evaluate the emotional stability, degree of adjustment and repressed frustrations of Rameses II, Charlemagne, Hammurabi, and Rick Springfield. Support your evaluations with quotations from each man's work, making appropriate footnotes where applicable.

VIII. ART HISTORY -- Repaint the Sistine Chapel using fluorescent poster paints and a Q-Tip only. Add "smiley faces" for a less somber tone.

IX. SOCIOLOGY -- Estimate the sociological problems which might accompany the end of the world. Construct an experiment to test your theory.

X. ENGINEERING -- The dismantled parts of a high-powered rifle have been set aside for you here along with an instruction manual printed in Swahili. In two minutes, Vangelus will admit a hungry Bengal tiger into the room. Take whatever actions you feel are appropriate. Document your reasoning on a separate sheet of paper.

XI. ECONOMICS -- Develop a plan for refinancing the national debt. Trace the possible effects of your solution in the following areas: Cubism, the Denatist controversy, the Schleswig-Holstein question, the Doppler effect, and the Laffer curve. Outline a method for avoiding these effects. Criticize this method from all possible points of view. Point out deficiencies in your plan, keeping in mind your answer to section VIII.

XII. POLITICAL SCIENCE -- Here is a red telephone. Use it to initiate World War III. Report at length on its socio-political effects, if any.

XIII. EPISTEMOLOGY -- Take a position for or against truth. Provide the validity of your answer.

XIV. ASTRONOMY - Define the universe. Cite three examples.

XV. FOREIGN LANGUAGES -- Translate the 2012 Information Please Almanac into Latin, Portugese, Samoan, and Aboriginal Australian. Watch closely for proper conjugation of irregular verbs.

XVI. PHYSICAL EDUCATION -- Describe all the possible paths that a served racquetball could follow. Chart them on graph paper.

XVII. LITERATURE -- Pretend that you are Geoffrey Chaucer. Make billions of students happy by setting fire to the manuscripts of your Canterbury Tales. Write a thesis on the impact of Dave Barry upon today's foremost writers.

XVIII. PHYSICS -- Using the parts from several simple kitchen appliances that DJ Pheonyx will supply to you, and using whatever chewing gum you can collect from under your desk as a bonding agent, build an atom splitter. Theorize how MacGyver might have done it differently.

XIX. ANTHROPOLOGY -- Trace the cultural ancestry of the Village People. Cite factors that influenced the fall of their empire. How has the game of hockey been changed due to this occurrence.

XX. CALCULUS -- Assume that the coordinates (u and v) of k are given by the following expressions: u=x-y"/y'' (1+y'2), v=y+1/y' (1+y'2) If we eliminate the x and y between these equations and the equation of the curve, we get:

a) the locus of the centers.
b) the theorem of the mean.
c) Cheez-Whiz.


EXTRA CREDIT: Spontaneously combust. (5 possible points)


~ ~ ~ ~ ~

with thanks to the Raleigh cast of Comedy Sportz, circa 1991, who came up with this nonsense in the first place

_________________


Del "DJ Nexus" Sawyer
Champions Online: @gyronnygeek | The Secret World: DJ-Nexus (game) gyronnygeek (forums)
Gtalk/Email: gyronnygeek@gmail.com | YIM/AIM/Skype: gyronnygeek | Twitter/Facebook/Tumblr: gyronnygeek

Nexus...What the hell did you do?

_________________

INSTRUCTIONS: Read each question carefully and answer. Time limit is fifteen minutes.


I. HISTORY -- Describe the history of the Roman Catholic papacy from its origins to the present day and discuss its social, political, economic, religious, and philosophical impact on the fast-food chains of today. Be brief.

Bitches. Guns. Money. Tru hustlin up at the KFC.


II. PHILOSOPHY -- Cease to exist. Report your findings. Consider the ramifications of the question "Where's the beef?" on our modern world.

My god, it's full of stars.


III. MUSIC -- Write a piano concerto. Orchestrate and perform it with an electric bass and pan pipes. You will find a piano here.

Therefore j' ; they have translate mine answered to form down from explanation and them j' ; they have l' in consequence filtered to cross babelfish in Spanish, then; ; German then and this is Italian (all important l' spoke; ; works) and then recently to inglese. Much felt over.

IV. GEOGRAPHY -- Keeping in mind the theory of plate tectonics, locate Sweden on this map:

SWEDEN IS IN DER COCKLES. YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA


V. BIOLOGY -- Create life. Estimate the differences in today's world if this life form had been created 500 million years ago and evolved accordingly, giving special attention to its probable effects on the English parliamentary system. Prove your thesis.

Bend over and I will demonstrate my thesis.

VI. MEDICINE -- Develop a cure for the common cold. Discuss its implications on the world of auto racing.

There is no space in this form for me to develop a whiskey still. Please see my practical model in the examination hall.

VII. PSYCHOLOGY -- Based on your knowledge of their works, evaluate the emotional stability, degree of adjustment and repressed frustrations of Rameses II, Charlemagne, Hammurabi, and Rick Springfield. Support your evaluations with quotations from each man's work, making appropriate footnotes where applicable.

Don't we all wish we had Jessie's Girl? No, she's a slut and fuck her. Only don't.

VIII. ART HISTORY -- Repaint the Sistine Chapel using fluorescent poster paints and a Q-Tip only. Add "smiley faces" for a less somber tone.

Did on DrawSomething last week. used trollface.jpg for God. U mad?

IX. SOCIOLOGY -- Estimate the sociological problems which might accompany the end of the world. Construct an experiment to test your theory.

Bitches, Guns, Money. Dats how it is about.

X. ENGINEERING -- The dismantled parts of a high-powered rifle have been set aside for you here along with an instruction manual printed in Swahili. In two minutes, Vangelus will admit a hungry Bengal tiger into the room. Take whatever actions you feel are appropriate. Document your reasoning on a separate sheet of paper.

This assumes that the tiger prefers Mexican to Chinese. I postulate that is a false assumption. Thusly, I will escape the room while the tiger is feasting.

XI. ECONOMICS -- Develop a plan for refinancing the national debt. Trace the possible effects of your solution in the following areas: Cubism, the Denatist controversy, the Schleswig-Holstein question, the Doppler effect, and the Laffer curve. Outline a method for avoiding these effects. Criticize this method from all possible points of view. Point out deficiencies in your plan, keeping in mind your answer to section VIII.

(insert link to goldspammer site)

XII. POLITICAL SCIENCE -- Here is a red telephone. Use it to initiate World War III. Report at length on its socio-political effects, if any.

No one has land lines anymore. QED.

XIII. EPISTEMOLOGY -- Take a position for or against truth. Provide the validity of your answer.

Very well. (Ferrets in Turtleneck Sweaters) / 0


XIV. ASTRONOMY - Define the universe. Cite three examples.

BITCHES. GUNS. MONEY. How fucking hard is this?

XV. FOREIGN LANGUAGES -- Translate the 2012 Information Please Almanac into Latin, Portugese, Samoan, and Aboriginal Australian. Watch closely for proper conjugation of irregular verbs.

See above question III. Fold, spindle, mutilate.

XVI. PHYSICAL EDUCATION -- Describe all the possible paths that a served racquetball could follow. Chart them on graph paper.

When I play racquetball, it ain't the ball that gets served.

XVII. LITERATURE -- Pretend that you are Geoffrey Chaucer. Make billions of students happy by setting fire to the manuscripts of your Canterbury Tales. Write a thesis on the impact of Dave Barry upon today's foremost writers.

FUCKING DONE. *stabs Dave Barry in the ass with a red hot poker, comic genius*

XVIII. PHYSICS -- Using the parts from several simple kitchen appliances that DJ Pheonyx will supply to you, and using whatever chewing gum you can collect from under your desk as a bonding agent, build an atom splitter. Theorize how MacGyver might have done it differently.

MacGuyver would have had a better 1980s synth track.

XIX. ANTHROPOLOGY -- Trace the cultural ancestry of the Village People. Cite factors that influenced the fall of their empire. How has the game of hockey been changed due to this occurrence.

Hookers. Coke. Detra. QED.

XX. CALCULUS -- Assume that the coordinates (u and v) of k are given by the following expressions: u=x-y"/y'' (1+y'2), v=y+1/y' (1+y'2) If we eliminate the x and y between these equations and the equation of the curve, we get:

a) the locus of the centers.
b) the theorem of the mean.
c) Cheez-Whiz.

[blank, ran out of time]

EXTRA CREDIT: Spontaneously combust. (5 possible points)

It's friday at 6:30 and I'm at work. I'VE BEEN EXPLODING FOR 90 MINUTES ALREADY

((seriously did take only 15 mins to do this))

_________________
"...his madness keeps him sane.": My Profile on VirtueVerse
Can You WIN the Internet? Arc #85544
Inhuman Resources - At Work with IE #298132
Task Force Mutternacht #349522 <-- Aeon Challenge Arc

]INSTRUCTIONS: Read each question carefully and answer. Time limit is fifteen minutes.


I. HISTORY -- Describe the history of the Roman Catholic papacy from its origins to the present day and discuss its social, political, economic, religious, and philosophical impact on the fast-food chains of today. Be brief.

History: Confusing. Effect: Minimal - people still work Sundays.

II. PHILOSOPHY -- Cease to exist. Report your findings. Consider the ramifications of the question "Where's the beef?" on our modern world.

There is no-one to deny anything, therefore I cannot deny my own existence. As such, I don't exist, therefore I am.

The ramifications of "Where's the beef?" as a philosophical question: This has been downgraded from a philosophical question since any number of people ask this question of a wide variety of mainstream fast food chains when they order a burger. Yes, I went there.

III. MUSIC -- Write a piano concerto. Orchestrate and perform it with an electric bass and pan pipes. You will find a piano here.

Beep. That is all.

IV. GEOGRAPHY -- Keeping in mind the theory of plate tectonics, locate Sweden on this map:

It's right there. Between the dust spot and the spray mark left over from the last time I did a spit-take at the DJs of The Cape cracking jokes on air.

V. BIOLOGY -- Create life. Estimate the differences in today's world if this life form had been created 500 million years ago and evolved accordingly, giving special attention to its probable effects on the English parliamentary system. Prove your thesis.

This is my Answer. It probably affected the english parlimentary system by crawling into the air duct and dying when the parliment wasn't in session.

VI. MEDICINE -- Develop a cure for the common cold. Discuss its implications on the world of auto racing.


Orange Juice has already been developed. It needs more concentration to be made available to the masses as an explosive device. Once it has been developed as such, it could theoretically be utilised as an alternative fuel source for the racing industry so they stop making fuel prices skyrocket.

VII. PSYCHOLOGY -- Based on your knowledge of their works, evaluate the emotional stability, degree of adjustment and repressed frustrations of Rameses II, Charlemagne, Hammurabi, and Rick Springfield. Support your evaluations with quotations from each man's work, making appropriate footnotes where applicable.

They lived. They ate. They did stuff. They died.This is all.

VIII. ART HISTORY -- Repaint the Sistine Chapel using fluorescent poster paints and a Q-Tip only. Add "smiley faces" for a less somber tone.

Challenge accepted.

IX. SOCIOLOGY -- Estimate the sociological problems which might accompany the end of the world. Construct an experiment to test your theory.

People would argue about how much gravity id pulling them towards the common source in the vincinity. Oh an explode due to lack of atmosphere. We're really all goldfish, after all.

X. ENGINEERING -- The dismantled parts of a high-powered rifle have been set aside for you here along with an instruction manual printed in Swahili. In two minutes, Vangelus will admit a hungry Bengal tiger into the room. Take whatever actions you feel are appropriate. Document your reasoning on a separate sheet of paper.

I would grab the nearest Beast Mastery Mastermind and put them in the room as well, with the words, "Your job."

XI. ECONOMICS -- Develop a plan for refinancing the national debt. Trace the possible effects of your solution in the following areas: Cubism, the Denatist controversy, the Schleswig-Holstein question, the Doppler effect, and the Laffer curve. Outline a method for avoiding these effects. Criticize this method from all possible points of view. Point out deficiencies in your plan, keeping in mind your answer to section VIII.

I'm from a different country, this can't really apply to me. Therefore, everyone should move out of the United States to other countries to solve the problem..

XII. POLITICAL SCIENCE -- Here is a red telephone. Use it to initiate World War III. Report at length on its socio-political effects, if any

The world is destroyed. See question IX for the effects this would have..

XIII. EPISTEMOLOGY -- Take a position for or against truth. Provide the validity of your answer.

No. Because they are both lies.

XIV. ASTRONOMY - Define the universe. Cite three examples.

Me. Myself. I.

XV. FOREIGN LANGUAGES -- Translate the 2012 Information Please Almanac into Latin, Portugese, Samoan, and Aboriginal Australian. Watch closely for proper conjugation of irregular verbs.

Mamungkukumpurangkuntjunya. I caution you to only follow the link if you aren't easily offended.

XVI. PHYSICAL EDUCATION -- Describe all the possible paths that a served racquetball could follow. Chart them on graph paper.

It's a rainbow. Therefore it follows this. Yes, I went there again.

XVII. LITERATURE -- Pretend that you are Geoffrey Chaucer. Make billions of students happy by setting fire to the manuscripts of your Canterbury Tales. Write a thesis on the impact of Dave Barry upon today's foremost writers.

Banana.

XVIII. PHYSICS -- Using the parts from several simple kitchen appliances that DJ Pheonyx will supply to you, and using whatever chewing gum you can collect from under your desk as a bonding agent, build an atom splitter. Theorize how MacGyver might have done it differently.

Done:
It even has the right accent for me.

Macgyver would have used a different Chisel.

XIX. ANTHROPOLOGY -- Trace the cultural ancestry of the Village People. Cite factors that influenced the fall of their empire. How has the game of hockey been changed due to this occurrence.

Just take a look at the management of your local YMCA for all the answers to this you'll ever need.

XX. CALCULUS -- Assume that the coordinates (u and v) of k are given by the following expressions: u=x-y"/y'' (1+y'2), v=y+1/y' (1+y'2) If we eliminate the x and y between these equations and the equation of the curve, we get:

a) the locus of the centers.
b) the theorem of the mean.
c) Cheez-Whiz.

d) All of the above. With a remainder of 2.

EXTRA CREDIT: Spontaneously combust. (5 possible points)

See answer XVIII.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

INSTRUCTIONS: Read each question carefully and answer. Time limit is fifteen minutes.

*Read to Mrwrk by and answers transcribed by her player*

I. HISTORY -- Describe the history of the Roman Catholic papacy from its origins to the present day and discuss its social, political, economic, religious, and philosophical impact on the fast-food chains of today. Be brief.

Was man in big hat telling men in smaller hats what to do! Made people very anxious! So ate at McDonald's a lot! Except on Fridays!

II. PHILOSOPHY -- Cease to exist. Report your findings. Consider the ramifications of the question "Where's the beef?" on our modern world.

*poof* Was fun! See last question about beefs!

III. MUSIC -- Write a piano concerto. Orchestrate and perform it with an electric bass and pan pipes. You will find a piano here.

*Patootlewrks!*

IV. GEOGRAPHY -- Keeping in mind the theory of plate tectonics, locate Sweden on this map:

Is Joss Sweden? Made pretty good TV Sometimes! And sometimes had earthquakes in! Like end of Buffy!

V. BIOLOGY -- Create life. Estimate the differences in today's world if this life form had been created 500 million years ago and evolved accordingly, giving special attention to its probable effects on the English parliamentary system. Prove your thesis.

*Makes kittens 500 Years ago* Would be more kittens in poofy wigs in parliament! *takes picture of kittens in poofy wigs in parliament*

VI. MEDICINE -- Develop a cure for the common cold. Discuss its implications on the world of auto racing.

Can put peoples in big bubbles! But would make reaching steering wheel pretty hard! *Makes vrooomwrking noises*

VII. PSYCHOLOGY -- Based on your knowledge of their works, evaluate the emotional stability, degree of adjustment and repressed frustrations of Rameses II, Charlemagne, Hammurabi, and Rick Springfield. Support your evaluations with quotations from each man's work, making appropriate footnotes where applicable.

Are all pretty silly. But are humans. So is expected! And here are goats from Everyone! Except Rick. Because Rick didn't own goat. *Brings out some goats* Would make notes with feet, but have paws instead! Sorrys!

VIII. ART HISTORY -- Repaint the Sistine Chapel using fluorescent poster paints and a Q-Tip only. Add "smiley faces" for a less somber tone.

Am not allowed to do! Got into lots of trouble first time!

IX. SOCIOLOGY -- Estimate the sociological problems which might accompany the end of the world. Construct an experiment to test your theory.

Have already done experiment! Is New Jersey!

X. ENGINEERING -- The dismantled parts of a high-powered rifle have been set aside for you here along with an instruction manual printed in Swahili. In two minutes, Vangelus will admit a hungry Bengal tiger into the room. Take whatever actions you feel are appropriate. Document your reasoning on a separate sheet of paper.

*Makes gun into a BBQ grill and cooks a bunch of steaks for tiger, but forgets documentation*

XI. ECONOMICS -- Develop a plan for refinancing the national debt. Trace the possible effects of your solution in the following areas: Cubism, the Denatist controversy, the Schleswig-Holstein question, the Doppler effect, and the Laffer curve. Outline a method for avoiding these effects. Criticize this method from all possible points of view. Point out deficiencies in your plan, keeping in mind your answer to section VIII.

Am not sure what Dentists having to do with finance! But is pretty good idea to laugh at it!

XII. POLITICAL SCIENCE -- Here is a red telephone. Use it to initiate World War III. Report at length on its socio-political effects, if any.

Sorry! Paws not good for dialing! And don't know numbers yet! But maybes could throw phone at leaders until got really angry! Then would be War of throwing phones!

XIII. EPISTEMOLOGY -- Take a position for or against truth. Provide the validity of your answer.

Am for tooths! Are good for chewing! Ask tiger! Would be very unhappy if could not eat steak!

XIV. ASTRONOMY - Define the universe. Cite three examples.

Is secret! Is pretty good secret! Looking at thingy! Any thingy! Doesn't matter! If looking very closely, is thingy moving very fast! Is moving so fast, is actually everywhere almost at once! Is moving so fast in complimicated pattern that is actually all thingies! Is universe! One thingy! That is all thingies!

XV. FOREIGN LANGUAGES -- Translate the 2012 Information Please Almanac into Latin, Portugese, Samoan, and Aboriginal Australian. Watch closely for proper conjugation of irregular verbs.

If verbs irregular, should probablies eat more fiber!

XVI. PHYSICAL EDUCATION -- Describe all the possible paths that a served racquetball could follow. Chart them on graph paper.

See question about universe! Is only one path! Which is all paths!

XVII. LITERATURE -- Pretend that you are Geoffrey Chaucer. Make billions of students happy by setting fire to the manuscripts of your Canterbury Tales. Write a thesis on the impact of Dave Barry upon today's foremost writers.

Sorry! Can't read! But burning tails not good idea! Using for balance! Here! Try kitten's tail! *Plucks off her tail and offers it to the tester*

XVIII. PHYSICS -- Using the parts from several simple kitchen appliances that DJ Pheonyx will supply to you, and using whatever chewing gum you can collect from under your desk as a bonding agent, build an atom splitter. Theorize how MacGyver might have done it differently.

Okies! *Tinkers*

There!

MacGyver maybes would have used mullet hair to split atom thingy.

XIX. ANTHROPOLOGY -- Trace the cultural ancestry of the Village People. Cite factors that influenced the fall of their empire. How has the game of hockey been changed due to this occurrence.

Were in village! Then Village got too big! Then were just City People. And was no fun. So left for countryside!

XX. CALCULUS -- Assume that the coordinates (u and v) of k are given by the following expressions: u=x-y"/y'' (1+y'2), v=y+1/y' (1+y'2) If we eliminate the x and y between these equations and the equation of the curve, we get:

a) the locus of the centers.
b) the theorem of the mean.
c) Cheez-Whiz.

Was question in there?

EXTRA CREDIT: Spontaneously combust. (5 possible points)

If combusting on command, is not really spontaneous, is it? Is pretty planned. Boring! *Spontaneously turns into a fountain of motor oil wearing a hat*

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

with thanks to the Raleigh cast of Comedy Sportz, circa 1991, who came up with this nonsense in the first place[/quote]

_________________

You forgot a catagory:

Bonus question 2: COMPUTER NETWORKING
Create a computer network of 100 computers in the 192.168.22.0 / 31 (Subnet mask 255.255.255.254) network. Take said network and download ever squirrel video ever made to stream directly into DJ Cozmic's home.


Ashes to ashes,
DJ Pheonyx

_________________

DJ Pheonyx of The Cape Radio
Global Name: @Pheonyx

*answers every question with SQUIRREL!*